sadness 

Glancing at the news today made me more depressed than usual :blobsadrain:

techpost 

Our company made us switch from the default iOS apps for email and calendar to Microsoft Outlook and it suuuuuucks

Today is a public holiday in Italy, and it's the first day I am allowed not to think about work (weekends excluded) since January 6

mh (~) 

And I’m still surprised by the idea that someone is thinking about me – at least, not just as one of the people they’re sending their invitations to

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mh (~) 

I still have that mentality that makes me worry whenever a friend reaches out to me out of the blue.

My first thought is, “They’re going to ask me to do something I don’t really want to take part to”, rather than “They probably just want to chat”

I guess someone finally muted the sighing project manager. His breathing was covering other people’s words today…

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Too many of my personas pass through my phone. I’m afraid that one day I will post the wrong thing in the wrong place

Some people need to be told that their sighs are heard by everyone else in their business calls

not safe for eating disorders 

I guess the fact that I skipped lunch today (and I had dinner with the sandwiches I had packed for lunch) is the reason why I’m feeling so tired tonight.

The weekly Apple-vs-Microsoft debate has started in my work group chat and I can’t mute it fast enough

I hate how much people are invested in the operating systems they use

I am somehow proud of having sorted the custom emojos on my personal instance by mood

:blobsoothed: Yay, no notifications on my work phone!

:blobpensiveleft: Ugh, no notifications on my personal phone

I feel like for the near future (but also for the rest of my life) it will be of critical importance for me to be confident about what I believe in, without budging on it because of other people’s pressure.

I need to feel sure that, even if it’s a lost cause, even if I’m the only one, even if I am aware that I am irritating, that it’s okay for me to be as loud as possible when I feel like my rights are not respected.

current mood in emoji (work-related) 

:blobcatno: :blobcattableflip: :chick_yell:

Yes, this was just an excuse to use one of my public transit emojos :london_underground: :u_bahn: :s_bahn: :paris_metro: :milano_metro:

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They’re updating the subway map of Milan with the line under construction plus all the light railway lines, and the map is getting slightly more similar to London’s :blobcatpaw: :milano_metro:

still about fawning 

By the way, yesterday I found out that two things I usually find myself doing – spacing out in social situations and being more honest on social media than in one-on-one conversations – are also symptoms of codependency, i.e. the inability to express personal needs and boundaries in relationships. It makes sense in hindsight.

I’ve finally reached a full burnout again.

mental health, envy 

Maybe the reason why I don't feel remorse for being envious is that I translate that envy into sadness and self-pity rather than anger, and I am used to interpret anger as a feeling to avoid, and sadness as a way to atone for my shortcomings

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a private corner

A personal instance for a relaxing time.