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One day, when I’ll have fewer extra expenses, I may commission a portrait of myself

I feel as tired as if it were Thursday already

health, physical activity (neutral) 

I walked 15k steps yesterday, and this was, like, the third or fourth time I have done it this year.

Lockdown life has made me less accustomed to walk that much, and now my legs feel unusually tired. I should resume walking more often.

I wonder what would be a polite way to say “Extracting information from you is impossible, so I’ll just drop all of my questions and deal with it on my own”.

(This is a rhetorical question.)

I read the comments on the Mastodon Github and while I understand the motivation behind the change in general, I don't get why it was not enough to change only the boost icon for one's own followers-only toots.

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I wonder if I'm the only one who really, really, really hates the new icon for an unboostable toot in the new Mastodon web UI. It's a step back from the good old lock.

My most used emoji on Telegram Desktop (which I use for my work chats) are 👍 🤦🏻‍♂️ 😅 and they really sum up my mood

tfw you attempt to do a few items of your to-do list and they go badly, you don’t solve the issues and add extra items to your list, but you’re satisfied anyway because at least you’ve done something

Can’t find the right emojo to express ennui or anhedonia

work, swearing 

Last night I got 27 work emails and 2 invites to late-night emergency meetings. People need to learn some fucking email etiquette

touch starvation 

The thought of all the months that have passed since the last time I touched or hugged another human being makes me dizzy – but what makes me even dizzier is the thought of all the time that will pass till the next time I will be able to touch someone else

personal, post-lockdown 

For the first time since February, I went out for a proper walk, leaving the house without having to buy groceries or anything.

It was a way to build some confidence after months of living as a shut-in – even though I kept my mask on all the time, avoided closed spaces, and stayed far from passers-by as much as possible.

I also checked what has changed in my neighbourhood in the meantime: construction sites, new graffitis, some street furniture.

I'm listening to songs from my music library and it's a trip through my memories. Each song evokes the period of my life in which I discovered it and listened to it on repeat. Even the sad songs sound full of nostalgia.

It’s been a while since my last post from this account, so I might as well say something.

Good morning everybody 👋

guilt, mh (-) 

The most insidious thing is that this wicked way of thinking applies to my own self the same toxic behaviour that people do to others – that is, describing people’s actions as a result of their nature and not as a response to external input.

I try to understand why people behave in wrong ways without expressing moralistic judgements, but when I reflect on what I’ve done, I can’t help thinking that I make mistakes because I’m instrinsically bad, lazy, spoiled, selfish, etc.

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guilt, mh (-) 

I’ve internalized the mantra of “own your own mistakes” to the point that I stopped defending myself even when it is reasonable to say that my mistakes have been caused or influenced by external factors.

There’s always that thought, “I should have noticed, I should have double-checked”, which makes me feel guilty and give up on placing blame on whatever made me (or let me) make such mistake.

I was already in the mood for simple, easy-to-make emojos, so I made one from my to-do list: :prince_symbol:

Unicode has the pentagon ⬟, the hexagon ⬢, the octagon ⯃, but why no heptagon?

So I decided to give this little fellow its own emojo: :heptagon:

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a private corner

A personal instance for a relaxing time.